Do you have one foot in “Christianity’s” door, while the other foot is hanging pretty far out?… Do you want to live a life that is pleasing to God, but you’re just not sure if you’re ready to give up your worldly desires?
Are you afraid that life as you know it will change drastically and you will lose something precious and valuable to you if you err on the side of the Lord?
Perhaps that boyfriend or girlfriend that you enjoy spending time with. Maybe its that special music you enjoy listening to, or going to that special party spot on Saturday night, or whatever it is you like to do in your free time that may not come into alignment with what the Bible teaches.
Well, that was my life, too. I dabbled with becoming a Christian for many years but I wasn’t ready to give up my life as I knew it. Sure, I went to church, prayed faithfully and believed in God, but I still wasn’t quite ready. I was afraid of the unknown.
When I would attend church on Sunday morning, I felt so guilty because I had not long arrived home from partying with my girlfriends, or my love interest.
Specifically, I went out, drank cocktails (alcoholic beverages), danced all night and into the early morning hours, lived and sinned in the flesh.
Oh, I was having fun!… Or so I thought. Ironically, there seemed to always be some “underlying’ (present but not readily noticeable) consequence that surfaced after the fact.
(Ephesians 5:9-11, For the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness and righteousness and truth; Proving what is acceptable unto the Lord. And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them.)
I knew it didn’t feel right, but I did it anyway. Then, I justified it in my mind by thinking that even though I was out partying the night before, it didn’t interfere with my Christian fellowship. I told myself “At least I got up and went to church”. So, I figured I was ok.
I was exercising my “One Foot In and One Foot Out” way of living. I was in transition, I guess…
I remember being afraid to give up all that fun stuff! In actuality, it wasn’t that much “fun” because what I was really doing was looking to fill a void that would never be filled in that way. I was lonely and looking for love in all the wrong places, or whatever else it was that I was seeking and I always came up empty.
What I did not know back then was that I already had God’s love right there in front of me, and that was all I needed.
I didn’t go out every night, but when I did, there was something in my spirit that made me feel really yucky inside. Now, I know that yucky feeling was the holy spirit working on my conscience because I was clearly not pleasing God.
That’s not to say that I don’t make mistakes now or sin sometimes because I will never be perfect. But the difference between the person I am now and the person I was back then is that I don’t set out to do things that I know are displeasing to God. I try not to dwell in the flesh and that keeps me grounded.
If I should fall short, I ask God for forgiveness and try to do better next time. So I am still a work in progress (an unfinished project that is still being added to or developed).
I still like good music. So, rather than listening to music that creates sinful temptation, I listen to “Good” music that is clean, happy, kind, free of vulgarities, yet still fun to listen to. Some of it is Christian music and some of it is not. I find that Praising God through music is always fun because it makes me happy.
Looking back, I really didn’t give up anything. Instead, I gained so much more. I have peace of mind now. No more “on edge” consequential worries and anxiety that I had back then.
Sure, I struggle with life’s challenges, but it’s not the same because I experience spiritual fulfillment and joy that is embedded inside of me. My joy comes from the Lord even when things aren’t going my way, there is no longer that lingering internal void within my spirit.
May your life be full of clean fun, joy, and fulfillment…
This is one of my favorite “fun” CD’s that I can actually listen to with my kids.
My favorite song is “Upside Down”
Click the image below.